Behavior Blueprint... Top 5 Ways to Solve Challenging Behavior
We have all been there..... that embarrassing moment when your child won't behave. And, why is it always in the middle of Target??? That moment when it feels like everyone is looking at you and you feel like you have lost control. Ever feel frustrated and helpless when a child engages in problem behavior? Whether you're a parent, teacher, or someone who works with kids, then this behavior blueprint is for you!
The moment that you tell your child to do something and they refuse to do it is when you have to decide how you are going to respond next. This is where you want to avoid getting into the dreaded power struggle. I’m sure you can guess who loses power struggles? That’s right, usually the adults. So, what can we do instead to create a win-win situation? Here are 5 tips to start understanding the how and why behaviors occur and to give you the confidence as a parent.
Tip 1: All Behavior is Communication
Behavior is communication! What is the child trying to tell us through his/her behavior? Kids resort to behavior when they don't have higher level skills to ask for what they want. Become a behavior detective and start to figure out what your child is trying to tell you. Do they want your attention? Are they trying to avoid going to the store? Or, they are dragging out getting into the car because watching cartoons in the pajamas is too hard to leave?
Tip 2: Build a Foundation for Success
Frontload the expectation for behavior BEFORE it happens. Expectations for appropriate behavior need to be taught and not assumed that the child knows what to do or expect. Telling isn't teaching, and some kids need frequent preview and review of expectations. Before an event, remind your child of the expected behavior.
Tip 3: Telling isn't Teaching
Shifting focus on the positive behaviors you want to see and decreasing the amount of attention on negative or challenging behaviors will start to flip the behavioral switch. Teaching includes modeling, giving specific feedback, and providing praise or positive reinforcement to the desired behaviors.
Tip 4: Remember the Five to One
Remember the teacher in Charlie Brown that sounded like “whah, whah, whah….??” That's what adults sound like when they are constantly correcting kids. Kids will tune us out if we are always giving reprimands or directions. Research shows that we should give five positive statements to every one correction. This ratio will keep things on a positive note. Then, when the time comes that a correction is needed, it will make a bigger impact.
Tip 5: Ignore or minimize attention to negative behaviors
Yep, this is a tough one..... but ignoring negative (but not unsafe or aggressive behaviors) will teach kids that this is not an effective means to get their needs met.
Working to incorporate these strategies will help you begin to see behavior in a more objective way and give you the skills to calmly deal with the most challenging behavior!
If you would like to learn more about the specific strategies used in parent intervention programs or if a parent coaching program is right for you and your family then schedule a complimentary clarity call today.
https://megancoxcoachingschedule.as.me/