Jumpstart Your Child's Communication Now
Can you imagine if you didn’t have a way to tell people what you wanted or needed? Have you ever been in a restaurant and needed the waiter to come over because your steak was overcooked? What did you do? Probably started off by politely trying to make eye contact. If that doesn’t work, then maybe subtly raising your hand or leaning forward in your seat. Still nothing…. Maybe you finally resort to waving frantically because the rest of your party is finishing their meal while your food is now cold on your plate. See how the inability to communicate to get something we need leads to increasing levels of behavior? When we can’t communicate through verbal or nonverbal language, we get frustrated, desperate, and angry.
Now, think about this example in relation to a child who does not have a consistent way to communicate their wants and needs to others. Kids may want milk, a favorite teddy bear, to go outside, or a nap. If you don’t have a way to communicate, it leaves few choices: cry, tantrum, or try to just get it yourself. As a parent, none of these are good options from our perspective!
Jumpstarting communication whether it’s verbal communication, pictures, signs, or meaningful gestures is the first step to teach kids that their actions can lead to good things happening. They have control over what happens simply by communicating. For some kids, they are socially unaware and don’t yet understand the purpose of communication. Meaning, they haven’t made the connection yet that by saying a word like “cookie” can (sometimes :) make a cookie appear, And that saying that word is so much more effective than crying and hoping someone realizes that they want a cookie. We all do things that work for us so soon we realize that if we really want that cookie then we have to say that word (or sign, or use a picture, or press a button on an ipad). There are lots of different ways to communicate…. It’s important to figure out the best way for each child given their current skills. Now, that doesn’t mean that other skills won’t develop but the goal in the moment is to honor all forms of communication so kids start to see the value of interacting with another person.
Want to jumpstart communication at home? Here are the steps to prompt a learning opportunity. Remember this takes time and the more you can do this the better.
Provide as many language models as possible. Keep up a running commentary where you use simple language to label things and actions. So, it might be saying “cookie” as you give the oreo to your child. Or, say “push” when you know they want you to push them on the swing.
Use the “expectant pause.” This just means that you want to pause the look expectantly at your child to give them the opportunity to say the word or even an approximation of the word before you give them something. So, in our cookie example, you may hold the cookie so they can see it, then move closer and look at them like you are expecting them to do something, and wait to see if they make any attempt to say the word.
If they don’t then you could provide a clue like saying the first syllable to give them a hint. Then wait again. If they attempt to say it or do say it then give it to them immediately and make a huge deal about it. We want them to know that good things happen when you communicate. If they don’t say it then, say the word for them and hand it to them.
Keep trying this! Learning communication skills is a numbers game. It’s all about learning opportunities and repetition. You might be surprised when it finally clicks and you first hear that new word.
If you think your child’s language skills are delayed then make sure you seek out an evaluation to determine if they need speech/language therapy or other services. But, you can also work on this at home which will help your child make progress faster. Check back here for more ideas or drop a comment if you have a particular question.