Is Mindfulness the Key to Being a Happier Mom?
Being a mom to young children is a wonderful and exhausting experience. I remember when my kids were young feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I was ashamed that I wasn’t “loving” motherhood every minute of the day. Sometimes longing for a few minutes to myself but feeling guilty if I spent a few extra minutes hiding out in the bathroom. And, cringed when my mommy-friends talked as if they didn’t long for the days when all they had to worry about was getting home from work to binge-watch a few episodes on Netflix.
I didn’t know about mindfulness when my daughters were young, but being a mom to two teenage girls, you better believe I’m using it now!
So what is mindful parenting exactly? Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment without thinking about the past or worrying about the future. It’s noticing our thoughts and feelings without judgement. We can apply this approach to all aspects of our lives including parenting. Mindful parenting is about noticing our feelings without becoming emotionally hijacked by them. It’s being curious about our thoughts and always questioning them without judgement. Our thoughts always create our feelings. And, feelings are a direct result of our thoughts. Managing our thoughts carefully is the key to experiencing more calm, happiness, and peace in our lives. So how does mindful parenting work?
Make space for just being, every day. Our lives are only lived in moments yet we spend in inordinate time stuck in the past or being anxious about the future. Staying present helps us appreciate the small moments.
Mindfully manage your stress. The way we think about stress in our lives often leads to us feeling more stressed. So, instead of thinking “I have too much to do” what if instead you focused on “I don’t have to do everything and I have enough time to do the most important things.”
S- Stop. Sounds easy right? But, how often do we just stop for a minute without distracting ourselves by scrolling instagram or texting a friend. If we never take a distraction-free pause , we are never really living in the present moment.
T- Take a breath. Focusing on our breathing for a minute or two will bring a sense of calm and well-being. Try doing this just a few times a day and notice how you feel before and afterward. You might be surprised with the results!
O- Observe. Be an observer of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Sometimes we are so disconnected from our own internal experience that we don’t even know what we are thinking or feeling.
P- Proceed. The goal of mindful parenting is that when we manage our thoughts and feelings it leads to actions that give us better results. We all want to be better parents. The goal is to parent from a place of calm and focus instead of frustration and reaction. This makes happier moms and happier kids.
Use the “STOP” model to remind yourself of the basics of becoming a mindful parent. These are simple concepts but it takes some commitment to integrating them into your daily life. Otherwise, they are “nice ideas” but not likely to become habits. Mindfulness needs to be part of your daily routine in order to reap the rewards. But, if you put some time in, these practices will bring a higher level of peace and happiness in your home. And who doesn’t want that?
Please leave a comment and share one strategy that you will implement today to put you on the path to mindful parenting.