Why the "Wait and See" Game Could Be Your Biggest Regret
Many parents raise concerns about their child's development to their doctors first. Unfortunately, many times parents tell me that their pediatrician blew off the concerns or said things like “he’s probably fine,” “boys are slower to develop than girls,” or “let’s give it another year.” Maybe this has happened to you? It’s sure tempting to want to believe that your child may catch up on their own or that the differences you notice are personality traits or “quirks.” I totally get it. As a mom, I know that it can feel safer deferring to the “experts.” But, I’m here to tell you that YOU are the expert on your child. You know every little detail about their communication style, their behavior, their interests. You can predict what will happen when you go for the haircut. Or, know they will avoid the other kids at the playdate. Or, that they would rather play with letters than with you.
So what do you have to lose by waiting? A lot actually. You lose valuable time that you can’t get back. The first 3 years of a child’s life are a critical window of development. This is a rapid time of brain development when the child’s experiences make connections that last a lifetime. Engaging with people is the way children learn. They learn about facial expressions and matching expressions to feelings. They learn about what your tone of voice means and use that to figure out what the expectation is in that situation. They learn by imitating adults. And, that their behavior communicates things to people and makes things happen. Like pointing to the milk in the fridge and mom getting out the milk. These are all foundations of learning that begin building communication and problem-solving skills.
The child that isn’t attending to these things is missing out on these critical learning opportunities. If not addressed, these delays will grow as time goes on and have a bigger impact when the child gets to school. So what started out as a small difference, can turn into a much bigger difference later on. The good news is early intervention which can directly teach the skills that children need to build a strong foundation in language, social, and emotional skills. The bad news is, time is not on your side.
Here are some things you can do right now if you have concerns about your child’s development.
Learn about child development and developmental milestones so that you can have productive conversations with your pediatrician.
Keep a notebook and jot down examples of what you see and what you don’t see. Paint the picture for the doctor of your observations.
Write down your questions ahead of time and bring them with you. It’s so easy to forget things if you get flustered!
Bring someone with you to the appointment if you feel more comfortable. Your spouse, mom, or friend can back you up and give their own insights.
Make sure you are filling out developmental screening questionnaires at each well child appointment.
And, if you still don’t feel heard or that your concerns were addressed, get a second opinion or pursue a formal evaluation. This is where you have every right to go full out “mama bear” and be a strong advocate for your child.
If you would like to learn more, talk it through with me, or are ready to learn effective techniques to help your child close the developmental gap, then book a complimentary clarity call with me today.